As the year ends

Looks like it has been a while since I have posted. Things are not looking good for people with my name. I could change it but I think that is only a short term band-aid on the problem called life. Yes that role in which I was unwittingly cast and have no creative control or residuals. The day when my show gets cancelled may be soon. I do not know if I will be glad or not. Anyway, I still make the curtain call each day like a good trooper. I am hoping to be held over in a good city one of these days but probably not.

Along the lines of things that I distinctively don't do (but have been doing them lately) I started a facebook account. I also got myself a fancy new phone along with a fancy monthly bill. I also now wear long sleeve shirts but hopefully that is just utilitarian.

Why This?!

I sometimes find it hard to comprehend that we are stuck here. Why do people hate life so much? Why would a person get up in the morning and go through steps to get ready for the day? Getting their created little people off to a useless hole in the earth and then themselves driving across a mobbed town to lavish into an overly useless hole. Slash your wrists, take some pills, or just stay home. And just why did you procreate. Maybe that is just what is wrong with this earth. The people with all of the why's abstain from creating people for the slaughter while the rest just revel in their feces. Are we that much a part of the dark one that we will punish a kid who is not provided with the proper clothing? Forgetting all the while that the Pure one looks on as we celebrate the travesty that we have made out of His Gracious gift of life.

Quotes of Note

Here is a great excerpt from a book that I have been reading.


Everything was regulated by the bell. It gave me orders, and I automatically obeyed them. I hated it. Whenever I dreamed of a better world, I could only imagine a universe with no bells.


Night by Elie Weisel

Plush, Sunlight bathed beauty

Gazing upon me today
Reflecting back the day
Staring down eternity
Revealing law to me

Concerning posh and bright
Dropping out of the light
Looking upon the cycle
Turning into tomorrow

It seems to me as if she steals her soul from me. It must be, for it seems that I lack it more and more. Woe is me, but to life my fusion goes.

To Wit, What Now?

It seems that I constantly wonder what I am doing. No matter what new endeavor I wind up on I still stop and wonder just what I am doing. So I deduce that I might as well stay at what I am doing until I move on cause the same result will happen in the next adventure. One birthday has ticked off for me and I... must stop talking about that wondering thing.

Some good stuff is that I have finally been able to move to Dallas. And I was quite fortunate enough to get a nice place in a neighborhood that I oft hang out in. Slowly I get furniture in my apartment but still it is good (as far as I know cause I do not have time to think about it). Things have been quite busy for me lately. Classes 5 days a week; I had to take a 5 hour test on Saturday.

I will keep trudging on and someday (soon actually) I will be Mr. Brittain.

Day of all Days

Well this day was not turning out so well. I had two interviews and 130+ miles to drive just to get to the first. I, of course, did so. The first went ok, but of course I have to await a call for another interview. I was not quite on my time schedule so I did not have time, like I planned to cruise about south Dallas like I wanted. I checked into some housing and said hello to a couple of friends. I looked into again joining a mission agency. I feel that it might be advantageous to do so now as opposed to when I was actually near ready to go abroad. But, as it comes down to it, I am not sure of what to do.

One thing that I have been thinking of and noticing lately is the futility of life. I mean, that people are by large sheep, cattle, and the like. People, by large, lack the ability (intelligence is my word) to think for themselves. They think that people that think for themselves and do not adapt to standards are just plain wrong. But to see this in every piece of life seems to pull me down and I start to wonder about a lot of things. It sends me to places that I do not want to be. Life is hard enough without the overall thinking of uselessness and futility.

But to the point of how this day took a turn for the better. After the bogusness was done with, I cruised to check out a movie and hit up my favorite bar in north Dallas. Well, the theater now charges $10 so I just went to the bar. I checked in to see what they had on tap and I almost passed out. They had my favorite beer on tap!!!! I became overjoyed (in spirit anyway). I have been waiting for 5 and a half years to throw back a cold one of my favorite beer. It just became available in Texas (I know we are actually behind the times here). Soon, (I doubt it though) we may be able to get it in East Texas. At any rate, I will have to try to make it to north Dallas to get some more creamy, frothy goodness.

Nothing Special

So...Well...Huh..

Yeah, that about sums it up. I often (well not so often cause I just kind of zone or stare off into nothingness mostly) find myself wondering just what is going on. I mean this whole job thing is starting to puzzle even me. Am I really that bad of a person that a college degree and aptitude run moot when I come up for a job opening. And what those other pesky areas of life. I seem to be falling behind in those as well. It seems that I am losing at this this game but am not getting any of the warnings or promptings to do better. I often wonder if I am stagnating or sinking lower and stuck in the woods somewhere trying to dream of a better something.

But still there remain good things. Soon, when I get around to it, I will be sharing that. My tulips are gracing the world with their beauty and I will post some pics at some point.